i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize