I'm sorry my penis didn't work
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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