It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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