Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
organizing the empties. That sober.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
