He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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