So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
