i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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