All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?