just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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