We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
