I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize