I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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