Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
