I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize