I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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