He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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