Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks