turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
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by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
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Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.