He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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