so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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