You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
