just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize