why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she peed on how many people?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
