U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
