took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
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She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
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His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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