ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code