Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
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Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.