u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Even my vagina gasped.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning