I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".