I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need to wash the frat house off of me