I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize