That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
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Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
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I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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