I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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