I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
