OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize