Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
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Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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