Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
