chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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