Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize