is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
