i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
