literally had 100 drinks last night.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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