it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just threw up on my dentist
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize