Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
There are leaves in my underwear?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
