I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
