I think I won the penis lottery.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize