we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
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It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
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Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.