Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.