So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.