If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
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My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
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Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.