Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.