Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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