Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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