That's intense
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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