I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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