Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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