Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i think i have herpe
just one?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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