god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
