Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize